


want me

by androgynousmikewheeler



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Teenage Losers Club (IT), but like... it’s not a big part, it is there though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24678895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousmikewheeler/pseuds/androgynousmikewheeler
Summary: Bill shares some insecurities with Mike.
Relationships: Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Mentioned Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 7
Kudos: 40





	want me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Prettything_uglylie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettything_uglylie/gifts).



Bill stares at the tiny gray, “Read 2:47,” on his screen, right below, “i guess i just need to accept that no one will ever want me,” etched on blue. The twenty-seven minutes that Bill has waited for another gray bubble to appear seem to imply Mike’s agreement with the assertion. He digs his short fingernails into the flesh of his thigh, scolding himself for expecting anything different. He’d always known that eventually, even Mike— kind, generous, patient, beautiful Mike— would give up on him. Eventually, even your best friends are bound to realize you’re just too much work. His parents figured it out a long time ago.

Something thunks against Bill’s window, startling him out of his reverie of self-pity. He groans and pulls the blankets over his head. Someday he’s going to chop that goddamn tree branch off.

Another thunk.

“Oh my god,” he grumbles, “sh-shut up!” He glares out the window at the offending branch. But it hangs perfectly still. The silence of his room, no wind or rain howling around the corners of the house, crawls down his spine. That noise isn’t the branch. His heart races, visions of clowns and sewers and yellow raincoats stained in blood crowding his mind, and something hits the glass once more.

He grabs the heavy flashlight he’s kept beside his bed for years, holding it out before him like a club, and scrambles out of bed. He’d made the decision long ago not to let his fears come to him. He sneaks across the hardwood floor, peering out through the big window onto the street.

Right in the middle of the road, a rusty bicycle leans against the legs of a dark-skinned boy in his late teens, waving up at Bill. He breathes out a sigh of relief and lowers the flashlight. He slides open the glass pane and sticks his head out into the cool summer night.

“Mike, it is th-th-three in the morning!” he calls as loudly as he thinks possible without waking his parents.

Mike smiles. “Hadn’t noticed! I thought it was just the world’s longest solar eclipse!”

Bill rolls his eyes. “What are you doing here? We’re going to wake up Ms. Keller; sh-she’s got ears like a hawk.”

“Then I guess you’d better let me in.”

“You’re unbelievable,” he says as he closes the window, throwing a t-shirt on and grimacing at the mirror. But he’s grinning as he sneaks down the stairs to the front door.

He opens it to see Mike, in all his sweaty, dazed glory. “S-so, why are—“

“I want you.”

“What?”

“You said that no one’s ever going to want you, and I know with one hundred percent certainty that that isn’t true, because _I_ want you.”

Bill just blinks at him, uncertain.

Mike closes the distance between them, hand coming up to cup Bill’s face, and despite being so terrifyingly exposed, he doesn’t shrink away. “You are wanted, because I want you. I want you, I want you, I want you.”

Bill blushes. “Mike, you d-don’t have to...”

“I’m telling you the truth, Bill. I want you in so many ways. I want you as a friend and I want you as a boyfriend and I want you as a lover,” Bill makes a startled squeak at that, but Mike powers through, “and I want you in my life and in my heart and in my home. I want a friendship with you and a relationship with you and a family with you, and I know that’s a lot to spring on someone, and I’m sorry, but it’s true. I know you’re supposed to say you need someone, but the truth is, I probably could live without you. But god, Bill, I really don’t want to. I want you, and I want to be with you, in whatever way you want to be with me. You know, sometimes, Richie says he doesn’t want to be in love with Eddie, but I don’t know what that’s like. You have never been a love I didn’t want, a person I wished I didn’t care for. I love you and I _want_ to love you. I have never loved you accidentally.“ His ranting meets its crescendo, and his face falls, hand dropping from Bill’s cheek to grab his hand. “I guess what I’m saying is that I want you, Bill. I just hope that, in some way, you want me, too.”

He looks at the patio steps, confidence and energy leaving his shoulders, and shrugs. Bill places a hand under his chin, easing his face up to meet his own.

“I—“ Mike starts, and then Bill kisses him. Bold but caring, like Bill has always been, his lips press against Mike’s with a gentle ferocity. Mike can’t even process what’s happening before Bill pulls back.

He catches Mike in those heart-stopping blue eyes and smiles. “I want you, too. In every way.” He laughs through his nose and rests his fingers around the back of Mike’s neck. He leans into the touch, foreheads resting against one another, and for a moment, slow and blissful, they just breathe together. Eyes closed, still air cooling the sweat on Mike’s arms, skin warm against skin, they finally, truly, feel wanted.


End file.
